Excerpts From The No Longer Wanted Ads

FOR SALE:  One Cubs season ticket. Box seat behind home plate on first base side. My ex-wife will be in the seat to your right. That should be okay because as a Cubs fan, you probably already have a lot of patience. Will consider a trade if you have something of comparable value you want to get rid of. Call 555-3205

FOR SALE:  One Cubs season ticket. Really comfy box seat behind home plate and a little to the first base side. The person whose seat will be on your left is often a bit of a jerk, but you can just ignore him. I always did. Call 555-8788

~by Roy Dorman

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